The Standard Relationship Disclosure Packet:

Wouldn’t it be great if we exchanged disclosure packets at the beginning of every life relationship?

*For those of you who aren’t real estate professionals, every home sold yields a substantial stack of paper called the disclosure packet. This is where the home seller tells the truth about what changes have been made to the house, what issues may arise with the house—basically everything that buyers might want to know about the house as they decide whether or not to invest in it.

The Standard Relationship Disclosure Packet (henceforth referred to as the SRDP because real estate professionals are second only to military recruits in the use of acronyms) would list useful things to know about a new friend or sweetheart before you choose to weave your lives together. The SRDP would include but not be limited to the following:

Specific Terms of Contract:

In which we define why we are here and what we plan to do about it.

Statement of Common Interest:

In which we notice how our dreams, hobbies, and habits intersect.

Notice to Disclose Intent to Convert:

In which we are upfront about all the ways we plan to change each other.

Notice of Security Bars:

In which we discuss how heightened emotional security measures have been implemented due to past violations.

Likelihood of Blanket Encumbrance:

In which we admit we will probably steal the covers.

Political, Religious, and Emotional Hazards Report:

In which we define our belief systems and establish firm boundaries.

Termination Rights:

In which we define when it makes sense to call it quits and how we would plan to go about it.

Notice of Closing Terms:

In which we decide when to admit we’ve made a life-connection and wish to waive our termination rights.

What other disclosures do you wish were exchanged at the beginning of relationships?